phiar vang

phiar vang died on 20th April, 2010…

i had been meeting vang for research on a human rights film that has just been completed….through the course of our interaction, she became an indelible part of the project.

its funny how filmmaking can be such a revelation of sorts.

about who you think you are…and about who you truly are…

we got the call y’day about her passing away.

when i heard, nothing happened – the world didn’t come to a stop…i didn’t go cold…i didn’t feel the pain…my heart didn’t ache…my head didn’t spin…none of the stuff you’d see in films.

or read about.

i’d hardly met phiar vang more than half a dozen times


for an hour at most each time.

over a space of a year. less than a year

in the evening, i walked into the bathroom, looked at myself in the mirror.


exhaust fan buzzing.

and then i broke down like a baby.

haven’t cried in many years.

maybe because of some odd notions of masculinity that i’ve been socially engineered into.

i wept away.

i have no clue how writing all this helps here.

but i think its important…because that moment was connected to her.

and so is this one.

to the woman, whose silence spoke of the colours of life.

for the woman, whose smile was life itself…


the strange indian boy with all those cameras


~ by mentalsyrup on April 22, 2010.

2 Responses to “phiar vang”

  1. art is life. life is art. art is death. death is art. everything is a revelation. of the self. heart-wrenching post.

  2. This is one of the most beautiful posts I have read in a long time. It’s been a while since I have read anything honest and genuine. It is that thing that numbs you…either for a while or forever. But forever too has an expiry date.

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